My Mom Won’t Stop Drinking—How Do I Help Her?
Seeing your mother struggle with alcohol is an incredibly painful experience. You may feel torn between wanting to help and not knowing how to approach her without causing tension. While you can’t force her to stop drinking, you can take steps to provide support and create opportunities for change.
Understanding the Situation
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a chronic condition, not a character flaw. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) explains that AUD is often rooted in biological, psychological, and social factors. Understanding this can help you approach your mom with empathy rather than frustration.
Starting the Conversation
Choose a time when she’s sober and calm to bring up your concerns. Focus on your feelings rather than making accusations. For example:
“Mom, I’ve been really worried about how much you’ve been drinking and how it might be affecting your health. I care about you and want to help.”
This non-confrontational approach invites dialogue without putting her on the defensive.
Encouraging Professional Help
Suggest that she consider seeking support, whether it’s from a doctor, therapist, or rehab program. You might offer to help her find resources or even accompany her to an appointment. Mention that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Setting Boundaries
If her drinking is impacting your relationship or mental health, establishing boundaries is crucial. For example, you might decide not to visit her when she’s been drinking heavily. Setting these boundaries protects your well-being while signaling that her behavior has consequences.
Finding Support for Yourself
Supporting a loved one with a drinking problem can be emotionally exhausting. Groups like Al-Anon provide a space to connect with others in similar situations and learn strategies for coping.
Knowing When to Step Back
Ultimately, your mom’s recovery is her responsibility. While it’s hard to watch her struggle, you can’t control her choices. What you can do is continue to express your love and concern while focusing on your own emotional resilience.
Helping a parent with a drinking problem is never easy, but by approaching the situation with empathy, setting healthy boundaries, and seeking support for yourself, you can navigate this challenging dynamic while prioritizing both your relationship and your well-being.
